Edel Grace

Programmer, Developer, Enthusiast

Wanting to Write

Oct 31, 2015 | Comments

I’ve always wanted to document my life in a journal. There is something awfully romantic about keeping an account of your day to day life. I just read a book, Fairyland by Alysia Abbott, about a woman who grew up with a single gay father in the ‘80s. She reconstructed both her and her father’s life through his journals and their letters to each other. I find it so beautiful.

Is it because I want to leave behind some sort of proof of my existence? Will I even have anyone to read my writings when I’m gone? I don’t even want to have kids eventually, at this point of my life. Maybe my life isn’t even that interesting to keep up a diary. But I do love reading my old blog posts, no matter how cringe they are.

When I was younger, I’d keep physical accounts of my life. I’m still bitter over the fact that my mother takes it upon herself to read my journals now. I love the physical act of writing and the tangibility of writing makes is seem so much more precious. But then I found out my mother has been snooping. One day she mentioned a topic that I never told her about, but something that I had wrote. I was so extremely angry but I didn’t say anything. It’s not like I just leave my journals out in the open. I take lengths to hide them but my mother still manages to find them. Maybe I’m just not as clever as I think I am.

I took up writing in Elian script to counteract this. However, decoding my entries took way too long. I recently found an easier script to read, Liron. But I am so resentful (I looked up synonyms for bitter, haha) that I have to go through these measures.

I want to take up writing frequent blog posts, at the price of making these posts private. But what if my blog gets hacked? There’s a little more risk involved than having my mother read my journals. I’m really conflicted.


A photo of me

My name is Edel Grace Altares. My programming interests include full stack development and back end development. My languages of choice are Python and Java. Outside of programming I enjoy crocheting, video games, cats, historical fiction, and reading.